Starting Over After 60: I’m Still Figuring Out What I Want to Be

Starting over after 60 isn’t always easy. At 63, I’m still learning, trying new things, chasing success and figuring out what I want to be.

I’m 63 and Still Trying to Figure Out What I Want to Be When I Grow Up

I’m 63 years old, and I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.

There. I said it.

When I was younger, I honestly thought by the time you reached your 60s you had life pretty much figured out. You knew who you were, what you were doing, where you were going and probably didn’t spend half your day wondering what the hell you should do next.

Apparently, I was wrong.

Because here I am at 63, still trying things, learning things, changing my mind, getting excited about new ideas, getting discouraged when they don’t work and then somehow talking myself into trying something else.

Some days I find that exciting.

Other days it’s exhausting.

Starting Over After 60 Isn’t What I Expected

There’s this idea that starting over and reinventing yourself is for younger people.

When you’re 20, everyone tells you to explore your options.

At 30 or 40, changing careers or starting something new is considered brave.

But what about at 60? Or 63? Or 70?

Are we supposed to suddenly say, “Well, I guess this is it,” and stop wanting more?

Because I’m definitely not there yet.

I still want to accomplish something. I want to create. I want to make my own money. I want to feel productive and know that something I’ve built actually worked.

And yes, I want to make money.

I sometimes feel guilty even saying that because we’re constantly told that money isn’t everything.

Of course it isn’t.

But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to earn your own money and feel like you’re contributing either.

For me, I think it’s become about more than the money.

I want to prove to myself that I can still do this.

Apparently, I’m Still Giving Myself Homework at 63

I’ve tried a LOT of things online over the years.

And when I say a lot, I mean just about everything out there.

I’ve been blogging for years. I’ve tried YouTube, Amazon KDP, digital marketing, affiliate marketing, Facebook monetization, Pinterest, Etsy and print-on-demand. I’ve learned SEO, made digital products, tried building audiences on social media and, more recently, jumped headfirst into learning AI.

Some things showed a little promise. Some went absolutely nowhere. Others I probably stuck with far longer than I should have because I kept thinking, maybe I’m almost there.

And just recently I opened an Etsy store and started learning another entirely new business from scratch.

Designs. Mockups. Keywords. Product descriptions. Pricing. Shipping. Search results.

Good grief.

Then there’s this blog.

Then Pinterest.

Then Facebook.

Then some new idea comes along and my brain says, “Ohhhh…maybe THIS is the one.”

Apparently, at 63, I’m still giving myself homework.

And the frustrating part is that I do occasionally see little glimpses that something might actually be working.

I’ve had Facebook posts suddenly take off and reach thousands of people.

I’ve watched something I posted go far beyond anything I expected.

I’ve had Pinterest pins start getting views and saves.

I’ve found some of my Etsy products showing up surprisingly high in searches.

Those moments are exciting because I think, YES! Maybe I’m finally onto something.

Then the next day?

Crickets.

Facebook isn’t showing my posts.

Nobody visits the Etsy store.

The blog makes pennies.

And I’m sitting at my computer thinking, What the hell am I doing wrong?

If you’ve ever tried making money online, I have a feeling you know that feeling.

Social Media Makes It Look So Damn Easy

This is probably one of the things that frustrates me the most.

Everywhere you look, somebody is telling you how successful they are.

They made $10,000 this month.

Their business exploded.

Their Etsy shop took off.

Their blog makes thousands.

They discovered some “simple” system that changed everything.

And sometimes I sit there thinking, Why can’t I figure this out?

But we rarely see everything that happened before their success.

We don’t see the ideas that failed.

The hours spent staring at a computer.

The things they created that nobody bought.

The posts that got five views.

The times they wanted to quit.

And maybe that’s part of why so many of us end up feeling like we’re failing when we’re actually still learning.

Some days I honestly don’t know if I’m determined or just too damn stubborn to give up.

Probably both.

Why Does Making Money Matter So Much to Me?

I’ve been asking myself this lately.

Why am I so determined to make something work?

Obviously, money matters. I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t. Who doesn’t want to leave a legacy and some financial comfort for you children.

But I think there’s something else underneath it.

I want something that’s mine.

I want to know I’m still capable of building something.

I want to use my brain.

I want to learn new things.

And I want to feel like all these hours I’m putting into something are actually leading somewhere.

That’s probably why the failures bother me so much.

When something doesn’t work, I’m not very good at shrugging my shoulders and saying, “Oh well.”

My brain immediately goes to:

What am I doing wrong?

Why isn’t this working?

Am I wasting my time?

And sometimes even:

Am I getting too old for this?

I don’t think I’m the only woman my age who’s had that thought.

Nobody Warns You That You Still Won’t Have All the Answers

Maybe that’s one of the biggest surprises about getting older.

You don’t suddenly become this wise older woman who has everything figured out.

At least I didn’t.

I’m certainly wiser about some things. I’ve lived enough life to know what matters more to me now and what matters a whole lot less.

But I still screw up.

I still second-guess myself.

I still get excited about things that don’t work out.

I still wonder what I’m supposed to do next.

And the biggest difference now is that I’m much more aware of time.

At 30, you can tell yourself, “Maybe someday.”

At 63, someday feels a little more important.

There are fewer years ahead of me than behind me. That’s not depressing or negative. It’s simply reality.

And I don’t want to waste them.

Maybe We Never Really Figure Out What We Want to Be

When we’re kids, adults constantly ask:

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

For a long time, I actually thought I knew.

Fresh out of high school, I went to beauty school and became a hairstylist. I worked on and off as a stylist for about 30 years. For a big part of my adult life, that was what I did. It was something I knew, something I was good at and something that allowed me to earn my own money.

But life doesn’t always let us stick to the plan.

Eventually, health issues, including fibromyalgia and problems with my back, made it harder and harder to keep doing such a physically demanding job. Standing for hours, bending, lifting my arms all day, my body simply wasn’t willing to cooperate anymore.

So I’ve had to reinvent myself more than once.

Over the years I’ve worked as a cashier. I’ve done background work in movies and television. I’ve even delivered food. And at one point, I went through a phase of training horses and dreaming about becoming a rodeo star. Yep, that was going to be my life for a while.

Looking back, I’m actually pretty happy that one didn’t pan out. Had it worked out the way I wanted at the time, my life could have gone in a completely different direction and I might not be where I am today.

Funny how some of the things that felt like disappointments at the time don’t look much like disappointments years later.

Maybe that’s part of figuring out what we want to be when we grow up. We change. Our circumstances change. And sometimes the dream changes right along with us.

And maybe that’s part of why I’m still searching now.

I’m not someone who never had a direction. I had one. Life changed it.

I’ve already been many different versions of myself: hairstylist, wife, mom, grandmother, cashier, background performer, delivery driver, blogger, online marketer, content creator and now Etsy shop owner and probably a few things I’ve forgotten.

Apparently, I’m still not finished.

Maybe this blog will eventually become what I want it to be.

Maybe my Etsy shop will take off.

Maybe something I’m doing on Facebook will turn into a real income.

Maybe I’ll discover something six months from now that isn’t even on my radar today.

Or maybe I’ll try ten more things and nine of them won’t work.

I really don’t know.

That’s the truth.

I’m 63 years old and I’m still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

Maybe I’ll never completely figure it out.

But I’m still curious.

I’m still learning.

I’m still trying.

And for now, I think that’s enough.